Questions in my head, in the middle of my Master's journey

Hi.. I am Elsa, a Master's student in marine ecology, at Korea Maritime and Ocean University. I have finished two semester here, and so far, my study focus is on marine benthic fauna diversity and ecology.

Nowadays, I can say that I am a bit lost in finding out what I want to do in my Master's study (related to my thesis and study focus). 

Since I have been studying Biology, the idea of "to love the nature" has driven me to this stage: pursuing a Master's degree. The idea of "sustainability in regulating our world" also takes a large part. Imagining knowing the ecological terms and how nature works, then using that knowledge to face challenges or real problems, is amazing but somehow tiring.

It's quite hard to come back to the idea that general ecological knowledge that we know today are come from small-scale discoveries and then developed to a large scale by scientific communities.

My research experiences were mostly working on basic knowledge. Marine benthic diversity, responses of communities A and B in disturbed or undisturbed areas, and recently worked on the 'scientific history' of macrozoobenthos studies and what was there (species checklist).

After that, what? how? did I do the right things? what else can I do as an individual? or don't too far, what can I do as a Master's student? There are still two semesters left.

I am studying in Korea. I got insight on how Korea seriously doing advanced research environment. However, at this stage, I feel like my experience in marine biology and fieldwork is still lacking. Especially when I am thinking of my home country, Indonesia. So, it's hard for me to identify problems, then confuse what I actually want to do.

If the things that drive me to do my work are "to love the nature" and "sustainability", I can say it's still too far.

Looking back to why I want to pursue a master's degree

One of my reason to pursue a Master's degree came from the fact that researchers in Indonesia are 'rare'. It is also common to find Indonesian marine research done by foreign researchers. I also found that biological or ecological data in some parts of Indonesia is still lacking, maybe because of limited number of researchers in that areas. But then again, I haven't truly felt that those are problems. Do other Indonesian care about that? or does the government care? it's still unclear to me.

Well, let's say I have experienced one problem, tourism sector problem in Kepulauan Seribu, located on the north coast of Jakarta. At that time, when we were snorkeling and going to take underwater photos, the local guide said that it is okay to step on coral to get a stable photo. My friends who are not biologists, just do what the local guide said. but what can I do? I thought that it is not right to step on coral. Imagine how many times tourists do that? and how much coral reef area that affected by that activity? do they able to recover soon? I can't do anything at that time. Just didn't do what the local guide said.

A straight solution that came to my mind after that happened, "shall I become a snorkeling tour guide so that I can directly contribute to not to guide tourists to step on corals?". But I do know that action taken by one person is not enough. It needs collective work.

My master's journey progress

Last time, I said that I want to review coral reefs in Java. I quoted Professor Daniel Pauly, "to recall what was there. Hoping will make us aware that we may lose something. Thus, we can think how to treat the environment to make it continuously the place where we can survive".

My questions are "will I be able to reach that goal?", "will I be able to deliver what I found to the communities or government to make me feel: good job! I did it!", "is that matter? do they need those data (my research result)?". So, to be honest, there is no progress on this work since I presented it in class.

Deep down in my mind: "I don't think I want to do a paper review at this time". I want to do 'practical work that I should responsible for'. I envy other lab members who are also busy doing the Scanning Electron Microscope (SEM) analysis and preparing samples for DNA barcoding analysis.

I am very excited to take samples of cryptic marine benthic fauna in Indonesia soon. To be honest, I am not sure. I do think there will be something that I can learn (i.e. how to identify species using molecular analysis). But then "what?".

Want to feel engaged with local communities

Recently, I am exploring topics related to "local ecological knowledge" and how researchers collect information by interviewing locals, especially in locations that lack temporal scientific data (benthic invertebrates) (Bastari et al., 2017). The question is similar to my previous interest: "recall what was there and how was the abundance 50 years ago?". One paper also analyzed "how is the impact when one species or one functional group of invertebrates is lost?" (Vilalta-Navas et al., 2023).

The general conclusion of the papers mentioned that those informations will fill the gaps on regional-specific scale that is useful for stakeholders to set conservation programs or for fishers to carry out sustainable fishing.

I am interested to do that kind of research. But, "where is the study location? Indonesia or Korea?", "how to find who needs that information?", "will I be able to do that during my Master's?".

It is still unclear. I feel confused and lost in my way.

A slight flip of my perspective (overthinking time)

Last night, I watched a podcast video on YouTube. The speaker is dr. Ryu Hassan, an Indonesian neurologist, guided by Gita Wiryawan, economist and former Minister of Trade of Indonesia.

There is an interesting discussion section at the end of the podcast, which starts with Gita's question "how do we maintain the balance, face climate change? especially when we talked about carbon stock, it's getting finite. How is it from the neuroscience perspective on that issue? do you think human will be able to maintain sustainability?"

dr. Ryu said "I am an evolutionist. So, when I see people do campaign 'save the earth', I will say 'who are you? the earth will definitely be fine. there was a time when humans don't exist, and the earth just keep spinning". In general, his answer was "humans will adapt or evolve to face future challenges. we don't know, history will prove that".

After watching that, I do think "you're right! what they say 'save the earth' probably mean 'save human', because the earth becoming a place where human can't survive. Don't forget that we are part of the earth. So, 'save the earth' is actually unclear.

That complex discussions and ideas make me re-drawing my perspective. Before I watched that podcast, I thought one of the marine biologist's tasks is exploring how to protect our ocean. But then it raised the question "does the ocean belong to humans?". So then, I finally found that I want "to try to keep the earth (including ocean) become a place that living things (including humans) can survive in".

Then, my question for now is "what do societies want from a Master's student like me to reach that goal?".

About to cool down ..

I know that the goal of Master's studies is to gain deeper knowledge and build the ability to design our own work/research, based on basic knowledge that we gain from the undergraduate.

It is hard for me. Complex thoughts are still in my head.

Yup, that's it.

This will probably subside over time. My tight schedule this summer may help me save those questions for later. But still, there will be times when I need answers to all those questions.

Thank you for reading to the end. I will be very happy to hear your thought after reading this post!