What do I want to do for a living?

"Curious about what will happen after 6 months, 1 year, 5, 9, or 50 years"

That's what I wrote in my graduation Instagram post.

So, here I am, 10 months after finishing my Master's 😊

A lot has happened in the past six months since I started working in Lombok.

I feel privileged to be diving regularly, enjoying beautiful scenery on the way to Kecinan (even though it was tough at first—it takes around 40 minutes), and finding a balance between research and diverse activities: working with corals, mangroves, going out with students, and more. I’m also lucky to have a comfortable place to stay, with hot showers waiting after a long day.

I guess I’ve come to agree that the question “What do I want to do for a living?” can be a never-ending one—not just for young people. And yes, I’m still figuring it out too.

I notice problems around me—whether they're related to my work or beyond it. Take waste and plastic, for example. They're still part of my daily life. I’m currently eating oven-roasted peanuts that come in plastic packaging. When I plant corals, I use cable ties; when I plant mangroves, we often use seedlings wrapped in polybags.

I do my best to reduce single-use plastic whenever possible, but what about the things that can’t be avoided—or those that have alternatives, but are difficult to replace?

Or maybe I'm just stupid, not smart enough to figure it out yet.

Sometimes I ask myself: “Is this the right career path?”

But then I remember—even when I did molecular research like DNA barcoding, I used so many single-use plastics: pipettes, bottles, petri dishes. Because, you know, contamination is not cute.

Maybe the universe is telling me: there is no perfect job. Just pick your set of problems and .... what?

I felt like—can I take a break from all this eco-anxiety for a second?

I miss Korea sometimes. Everything felt more organized. I didn’t have to constantly worry about things that now occupy my mind in Indonesia—not just the waste, but transportation too. Did you know I even started calculating my carbon footprint because I’ve been using a motorcycle a lot, and for long distances?

And don’t even get me started on finding a partner who understands all this. Dating feels like a whole new kind of climate crisis 😅

Maybe I just need to take a holiday. Somewhere greenish, chill, and quiet enough so I can hear myself not overthink? 🌿🫠